header

Monday, May 6, 2013

Don’t Be A Wallflower; Networking For The Socially Awkward


Networking events,  I think,  are social events built for torture.  There is something forced about walking up to a complete stranger, Introducing yourself and what you do, exchanging business cards then moving on to the next stranger.  Actually most people are uncomfortable meeting people that they are not familiar with, they typically don’t know what to say,  or what to do in those settings.  Networking is however necessary when it comes to gathering social contacts and developing new relationships that might eventually open up business opportunities or help your career later on. 

For the naturally shy, awkward people, networking events can be a total nightmare; the surroundings are totally unfamiliar and usually out of their control.  Networking events can be a mixed bag, once in a while you meet some real douche bags  and usually you don’t know whether to tell them off (that would cause a scene and you would look a complete mess in front of strangers) or just grind your teeth and move on.  I remember one of my first networking events, I had practiced my elevator speech, I had my best corporate clothes on and was determined to make some good contacts, everything was going well till I walked up to this middle aged guy standing with some other middle aged guys with the same badges on their lapels (they all worked for the same company), I reached over to shake his hand armed with a smile and introduced myself and the first thing he said was, “why are you talking to me, do I know you?” .  The point, is networking is a necessary tool to building social relationships and must be done regardless of how awkward you feel.

So how do we make it easier?  The solution is to have a plan and execute the plan

First I like the kind of networking events that have a published list of attendees online.  I usually Google those people, get to know those I would be interested in talking to by looking up their backgrounds, their hobbies etc
Next be prepared to answer the question, “What do you do?’’.  So the key here is to come off smooth without sounding corny or rehearsed.  So what must you do? Rehearse!  Rehearse your answer out loud, better yet in front of a mirror until your answer sounds natural and you look confident while saying it.
Then, this may not work for everyone, but it certainly works for me.  When I get to the networking event, I usually head straight to the drinks table ok ..bar and grab a glass of wine. Note alert, I am not recommending taking shots at the bar, but a glass of wine helps me bring down the anxiety level and also allows for scanning the room discreetly and make a note of who I want to meet.

I always envy those people who can strike up a conversation with just anyone but if you do not naturally posses those skills you must find a way to connect with others.  Next step is to walk up to the person you want to meet the most, armed with knowledge about them and their interests and strike up a conversation geared specifically to their work, their company and their hobbies.  Most people enjoy the company of those they have something in common with, so what you are trying to do is seem  to have shared interests, this conversation should be easy and relaxed because most people can go on and on about their hobbies, business etc. 

Eventually your network buddy will come around to asking you what you do and action! You are on stage! Just recite what practiced, remember by now you should be buddies so, speak as though you already are.  Most likely your “monologue’ will prompt some more questions so just explain giving examples what you do, making sure you don’t talk for too long.

So far so good, next is the art of disengaging, the last thing you want to do is ruin a good connection by overstaying your welcome. Let them know you enjoyed talking to them and would like to stay connected, ask them for their business card, hand them your business card, thank them let them know you will email them and walk away.

Move on to the next person and repeat the process. After you are done meeting enough people, find the host or organizer, compliment them on the great event and would like to attend some similar so could you get on their email list?  Getting on the hosts email list, allows you attend more events and meet more people, and build your contacts list.

After the event send an email to the people you met, try and include a little bit of the conversation you had so they can remember you and add them to your network.  Occasionally send them interesting articles they might like or invite them out for coffee or lunch, the idea is to keep the conversation going  so that  you have an  insider in that company if you ever want to further explore career or business opportunities. 

Networking is manageable if you have a plan, it becomes more and more natural the more you interact with others; there are real learning and financial opportunities that come along with expanding your social circle. Hopefully this will help someone take the first step
.
I’d like to know what you think.  Please comment and subscribe below! Bless!

No comments:

Post a Comment